I reach out to only few people. And when I do that to you, you MUST be important to me. I seldom cling because I am scared of attachments.. Even to friends.
Lately, one instance hit me really hard. I realized how ungrateful people can get. I realized how much they can take you for granted, especially when you give them your all. They can get too caught up with their lives that when they don’t need you, they will actually seem to forget you exist.
If I was the same me 9 months ago, I would cry over this and probably try harder. Reach out even more and forget about myself.. again.
But now, this made me think that we must let go of people who can’t even protect us, what more to be there in times of dire need? This made me appreciate the other people I have. The people who have been there all along- good or bad, the ones who understood, the ones who reach out every now and then, the ones who talk to me just because they want to – no other reason why.
At one point, I got so affected, I started panicking. But then, I asked myself, “will this thing and/or person even matter 5-10 years from now?” Sadly, the answer was no. From then on, I knew I am going to stop.
I wish I could escape and getaway from reality sometimes, though. There are still days and nights when all I could think of is me being 4000 miles away from this chaotic and crazy world. Starting over, meeting new people and just.. you know, re-arranging everything in your life- it can bring so much pain, but it can make you a better person.
For now, all I can say is..
To the people who have been there all along / trying to , thank you for being there whenever I lose myself, whenever I need a hand to hold, whenever I need moments – good or bad. I can never, ever thank you enough. And the only thing I can promise you is even if I will be thousands of miles away soon.. you won’t be forgotten.. ever. 🙂
Still thankful for everything. No regrets. Thank You.