Sometimes it hits like a car crash

For the past days, I’ve been thinking about the reason why I am slightly-shutting-off myself from some people. I’ve been quite distant, and believe me, it’s not usual for me to treat people that way. I like reaching out, I like being there every step of the way. But somehow, the ride with some people can be tiresome- it can drain you so much.

I remember being so excited for graduation around 14-15 months ago cause finally, I told myself that I am going to be free from some people who love to just meddle into everything. I was so sick and tired of it. My love for my friends are so much more than one can imagine, but sometimes, that is not enough for you to keep going, to keep talking to them. 

I was sure of one thing- I wanted to grow, I wanted to meet new people and have new experiences- without judgements and criticisms.


Looking back, I think that still is the reason why I don’t know what to answer when people try to ask me how am I with a friend I’ve been not-really-avoiding but seeing less. Haha. 
Truth be told, right now, I am more than contented with my life. 
The people I am with everyday weren’t able to see me and be with me in my worst and best moments before college, they weren’t there when I was so, so young and carefree, but one thing’s for sure- they give me the BEST, I repeat- the BEST college experience one could ever ask for.

I love how I can say anything I want to, how I can do anything I want to, how I can act freely, how I can choose anything, how they tell me things straight to my face when I’m doing something wrong. 

Also, having optimistic people can change your perspective so much. Gone were the days when all I took in were unnecessary comments and negativity. 

It took me so many months and so much time to realize this, but I have to say that for now, I am keeping worthy people with me. You know if you’ve been real – and if I’ve been shutting you off lately, you cant really blame me. 
Sorry, I’m not sorry. 


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