I miss being an “ate”

I used to hate kids. I mean.. Who would want rowdy girls and boys running around her bedroom? 

my brother and my 2 cousins call me “ate”. We stayed in our grandparents’ place, which meant that I was really responsible for them. We had some years apart, when Pia, my 11-yr old cousin went to London and Pau, my 15-yr old cousin went to LA. After a few years, they came back to our home-base, our favorite place- this house. I was excited, as we were already with Sam, my intelligent 3-yr old cousin, Pia’s sister. She was sent here by her mom when she was 2 months old since her parents were too busy in UK to look after her. We spent almost 2 years of being complete EVERY SINGLE DAY. 

But it wasn’t all bliss, believe me, so many times, I would wish for them to go back to those countries, and for us to go back to Oz. Who would want to stay in a house with a baby crying, with 2 little kids fighting and with an emotional young man who had nothing to do but piss you off and tell you you’re small?! It was hell! Every time I’d come home, I would see tissue paper lying on the floor, I’d hear a bossy baby telling her 12-yr old ate to shut up and study (yup, Sam IS that intelligent). 

But on some days, especially at night when my grandparents arent home yet,  we would all stay in their room, just picking on each other, just laughing. I would always hug Sam. Pau would scare them away, and we’d all laugh together. Those moments were too special for me. I never, ever told them how much I enjoyed being with them.

Then there were those days when I would stay in my room, just with my laptop and phone, and Pau would do the same in his room. Jam and Pia would play together while Sam roamed around the house.. destroying other things. We took each other for granted.

I pretty much remember everything cause.. I don’t know, they’re all that’s left to remember. Now, with Sam and Pia in Alice Springs in Australia, with Pau back in LA, and with my brother still in Melbourne, here I am, with everything I have ever wished for while they were here- my room’s clean and untouched and the house is quiet. But I feel like it’s not making me happy, either.

I miss you, babies :-< I miss you so much. The house has been sooo quiet and sad. I miss you, Sammy! 😦 I miss asking you who your boss is, and how we’d always laugh together whenever you say “Boss ko si ate” 😦 I miss your voice, I miss you asking me how my day went, I miss opening the door with the cutest baby I’ve ever seen waiting for me and hugging me. I miss Pia, I miss asking you how your day went, and how you’d always tell me stories about your crush. I miss making you cry whenever I shout at you. (hehe sorrry) Okay, I will see my brother in 2 weeks but whatever, I miss him. Buuut, I miss you, Pau, the most 😦 Ever since we were little, we already had “the bond”. But I guess THIS is our closest. I miss telling you ALL my secrets, and I miss blackmailing you whenever you don’t wanna follow my favors. I miss sneaking out with you, just to go to some place at midnight and eat. I miss paying for our dates, and how I’d always tell you that you can’t do that to other girls (ohmygod magpaka-gentleman ka na). I miss you, you were the only one who really stood up for me whenever I’d go home really late. I miss you peeking at my phone cause you always wanted to see what * and I were talking about ( WTF KA TALAGA) Hahaha. Ohmygod, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but all I want now is for you guys to come home :-< I meaan, I know I’d still spend Christmas and summer with you, but it’s sooo different on ordinary days. I’m not used to waking up without Sam’s kiss 😦 I’m not used to being alone on weekday mornings. I can go and on and on if you ask me what I miss about you guys the most. 

I know I wasn’t exactly the kind of “ate” that you wanted, but I hope you know that I love you guys to death (yup, you wont get to read this anyway…. ). I just dont tell you how I feel about you cause.. I’m the boss hahaha. I always give you the tough love. (ohmygod Saaam I miss you so much) 😦 So yeah.. If ever youre stalking me, Pau, fyou. Jooke. I’m treating Ate Joy and Ate Colet this afternoon.. I am THAT lonely. Go home, kids! Ate misses you so much :-< See you soon.. I love you four. 

PS: You made me cry, huhuh. I just wish you could iMessage me often, Pau!! And Skype me too, Sammy and Pia 😦 Well for my brother… See you soon.. Hahaha. I MISS YOU :(( 

*Idk why, but Jam and I don’t really have a pic together.. HAHHA ImageImageImageImageImage

2 thoughts on “I miss being an “ate”

  1. pia simon May 12, 2012 at 8:02 PM Reply

    ate ches nakakiak kahat 2 basa ko

    • cheskac May 15, 2012 at 11:50 PM Reply

      Wag ka madrama.. Imiss u! Be good ha

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